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Wednesday, January 11, 2006
So it is Wednesday and i am about to pass out haha. It had been an awesome week or so at home but i am SO ready to go back to good old IC. So over break i have done a lot including seeing tooo many movies haha. lets see...Family Stone, Narnia, Casanova, King Kong and Brokeback Mountain. and Brokeback Mountain was AMAZING ooo my it was soooo good and best haha. i loved it. and king kong was also absolutely amazing and narnia and family stone were great but casanova SUCKED big time haha. Um so last nite i got to go bowling with some friends and it was kick ass andi sucked it up but hey thats ok cause it was awesome. Then today i went into Phili to see Body Worlds (if u dont know what it is google it) and it was AMAZING the coolest thing ever i loved it but driving home from phili sucked and i am dead right now and i cant wait to go back to IC on saturday SOO CLOSE hhahaha well im passing out now hahaha nite nite
Current mood:  tired Current music: Song Selections for Voicestream...fun
Sunday, December 25, 2005
So its Christmas and Santa has come :). haha got up this morning and watched the Disney Christmas Day Parade with Mom and Sister then we opened presents and it was fun cause Harry, the dog, helped open presents by ripping the wrapping paper off of all the presents haha. So it was nice to get clothes and movies haha. Now i just finished working out, I kno its shocking, and im waiting for dinner and yeah. Well its been a great day, I've been watching 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders and its the best hahaha. So last night we watched Polar Express and it was pretty good. There was some weird songs hahaha but yah know it was a fun night. Nothin else is really going on. tomorrow we are going to my uncles for Christmas with my mom's side of the family. It should be fun to see all of the cousins again and my nanny just got a new puppy and she is crazy about it as I am told haha. Well thats really it. Thats it for now, notin else as of now but the day is young haha.
cya
Current mood:  relaxed
Saturday, December 24, 2005
2:09AM
so it is now way early in the morning on Christmas Eve Day and I decided to start up a online journal so I have something to vent to and write stuff down.
Ok so today was the day of the Goodliffe family Christmas. It was nice all the cousins, except one, came, all of the aunts and uncles and my grandfather. It was very nice to see everyone but as usual there is occasoinal akwardness because some of the cousins are just plain mutes. Also my oldest cousin is pregnant and that is great news for her and her husband, but the problem is that I cannot stand her. I stood there for so long waiting to be like hello or congratulations but she acted like I wasn't there. Not like I am phased cause its who she is, but hey she's family and I love my family. So once 2 families left it was my mom dad and sister with my aunt her husband and my 2 cousins and this was the time we were all waiting for haha. We all had a glass of champagne or wine and had great conversation as usual and had a great time laughing and enjoying each others company. They left around 11. So then i got into my pjs and i went back downstairs and my mom dad and sis were having a deep conversation about pain and suffering and things of the sort. So i joined the conversation and we talked for 3 hours straight about everything. We all revealed things about ourselves that we didnot know about each other and it was draining but it was an amazing experience to talk on a level with your parents in which you can talk about one members plan for suicide and the details it entailed and the reasons for wanting to commit suicide. I have learned a lot in one night and hearing some of the things I did hear was important and amazing. I feel that this conversation has brought my family closer and to a new level. We were able to talk about the things we went through as a family this year and we were able to finally talk about things we have never discussed. Yet to truly have the break through with my father but I feel that he is almost there because tonight him and i learned a lot about each other and we are at a new point in our relationship. I wrote him a letter while i was at school and i am yet to read it to him but the day will come. I am confident that he will accept me sooner then i thought. So this conversation was very enlightening and i think i'll attempt some poetry later. ANYWAY, so i'm home for break and its awesome and i love seeing all my home friends but i miss college friends like CRAZY haha. So the other topic boys, well...its kinda complicated. A lot of mixed feelings right now. Its strange cause its almost like college and home are two seperate worlds. There are people at college and then there are people at home. Those people are also boys that you fall for haha. Its always hard when you start kissing someone before you truly know them. And there is nothing wrong with that happening. But after going through it I realized that getting to know a person is more important then kissing that person. Until you truly know a person and who they are, how can you say how you truly feel. After realizing this, I found myself thinking that the person I found at school is a great perosn to be friends with and I have so much fun with this person, but in reality a relationship wouldn't work. Yes, opposites attract but that can only strech so far. I believe that you learn from everything that happens and i have learned that getting to know a person before becoming intimate is crutial because if u become intimate then get to know them and you realize that it wouldnt work, you then need to end something that has led to attachment. and attachment is a amazing but at the same time a horrible thing. I am attached to my best friend and it is amazing but bad hahaha. Its amazing cause I love her with every ounce of my body, but it is bad because i feel that no one will ever be good enough for her, except me and we know that we wouldnt never work because we both like to sleep with men hahaha. Anyway overall I think that I need to stick with my instincts. And they are saying that I should make the thing with the guy at school a friendship because a friendship with him would be amazing and we would have the best time and that the new opportunity that has presented itself at home should be taken, but i need to get to know the person before it becomes intimate. Its funny because as you get with people in your life you slowly begin to say what you like and don't like and what you want in the person who you will eventually spend the rest of your life with. Not saying that I am looking for that right now because I am currently going with what life presents me with, but the idea is nice hahaha. well that is my bit for the night.
nite
Current mood:  content Current music: Out Loud - Dispatch
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